Things that Go Bump in Arcadia
by MrBillyD
Summary: When a Hellmouth begins to operate in Arcadia, the Almighty has Joan Girardi stand against demonic forces but He warns Joan not to work with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and her Team, unless they agree to abandon any and all reliance upon the occult.
1. Chapter 1

Things That Go Bump in Arcadia

Here is a Joan of Arcadia/Buffy: the Vampire Slayer crossover.

When a Hellmouth begins to operate in Arcadia, the Almighty has Joan Girardi stand against demonic forces; but He warns Joan not to work with Buffy and her Gang, unless they agree to abandon any and all reliance upon the occult.

I do not own any of these characters. They belong to the Producers of the Series "Buffy: the Vampire Slayer", and "Joan of Arcadia". God is in Public Domain.

Things That Go Bump in Arcadia

By MrBillyD

1

Dinner was done at the Girardi house. Joan sat in the living room, with her parents Will and Helen. Both of her brothers were also seated with them.

The TV was on, tuned to the Network Evening News.

The first report concerned a massive earthquake that had totally obliterated the town of Sunnydale California, that morning. Where an entire community had stood, 24 hours ago, there was now an unbelievably immense crater, more than ten miles across, and a half-mile deep.

Her oldest brother Kevin said, "It looks like it belongs on the moon!"

Joan's other brother Luke, who was a year ahead of her at Arcadia High, had sat up straight.

He said, "Grace is in Sunnydale!"

His girlfriend Grace Polk had just disappeared from Arcadia a few months before. One day she hadn't shown up at Arcadia High. She hadn't been seen again after that. Everyone was very concerned.

Grace's father, the Rabbi of the Temple Beth El told everyone not to worry, but he refused to say anything further.

Two weeks later, Luke had received an e-mail from Grace saying,

"Don't worry about me. I'm in Sunnydale, California. I'm being trained to fight evil. I'll be defeating vampires, werewolves, zombies, and all kinds of things that go bump in the night. Everything is five by five."

Luke had said, "What the hell does that mean? 'Five by five'? Everything's twenty-five square something?"

Joan had told them, "We've all heard things about Sunnydale California. It's supposed to be full of vampires, and 'The Vampire Slayer'?"

Kevin had laughed, "Don't tell me Grace Polk is training to be a 'vampire slayer'? I know she's a tough girl, who could make Luke and all the other computer geeks yell 'uncle', but come on."

Then their father Will Girardi, Police Chief of Arcadia had told them, "I know it all sounds like a lot of nonsense, but it might be some kind of code. I'll contact the Sunnydale Police, and ask them to look into things."

The next day Chief Girardi had sent the inquiry. He had not received any answer, and Luke had received no more e-mails from Grace. No one else had heard anything either. Her father the Rabbi had nothing to say.

This evening, the TV News Report said that the last few people in town had been able to escape on a school bus, before the collapse. They showed the videotape of a bus standing on a roadway, just beyond the edge of the crater, facing away from where the town had stood. Some of the injured were being loaded into ambulances. Others, who were more critically injured, were put onto helicopters, and flown away.

Some of the uninjured were standing around looking bewildered. Most of them were girls in their teens or early twenties. A few young guys were with them.

Luke said, "I don't see Grace."

His mother said, "That means nothing."

The oldest person among the uninjured was interviewed. He was in his mid-forties, wore glasses and spoke with an upper class English accent.

He said, "Sunnydale was located over a Hellmouth, and the Hellmouth swallowed the town whole."

Joan said, "It doesn't look like he's got a head injury."

Her mother told her, "You never can tell."

Now the Reporter spoke. "Over the years, there have been many reports of strange, supernatural activities happening here in Sunnydale. The town has had a notorious reputation as the home of vampires, werewolves, zombies..."

Luke spoke uneasily. "'And things that go bump in the night.'"

The following morning, Joan took the bus to school. When she arrived, she went to her locker. A man in his forties, dressed in a custodian uniform, stood beside her.

He spoke with an Scottish burr. "From ghoulies, and ghosties and long legged beasties, and things that go bump in the night..."

Joan responded uneasily, "Preserve us oh Lord?"

"Oh I will," he told her, "but I'll need your help to do so Joan."

He's the Almighty, she thought, in one of the human forms that he sometimes takes, when He talks to me. He's talking to me about...What?

She said, "You're being serious? About Sunnydale? Vampires and things that go bump in the night? You mean they actually exist? Or is that just a figure of speech? I hope."

"What I mean Joan, is that I'll need your help, to prevent Arcadia from being swallowed by a Hellmouth, like Sunnydale California was; and that is no figure of speech."

She asked, "What's going on?"

"A Hellmouth is beginning to open, right here in Arcadia. It was in operation last night."

"You mean that story that was on the Morning News; about the vandalizing of that Catholic Church?"

He nodded. "Tonight, a fire bombing of a Synagogue is planned. It's the Temple Beth El."

"Grace's father's Synagogue?"

"It's my Synagogue too." He told her, "I want you to prevent the bombing."

"Me prevent it? Isn't that what the Police are for?"

"Exactly. All you have to do is inform the Police."

"You're kidding. My Dad's the Chief of Police. If I tell him that God told me this, he won't believe me, and he'll have me talking to a psychiatrist."

"All you have to do is call in an anonymous tip Joan."

"Right." She said feeling relieved. "No problem." Then she asked, "What should I tell them?"

"Tell them to have the Temple Beth El under surveillance at 11:48 PM tonight."

Joan reached into her locker, taking out the books she'd need, for that morning's classes.

She spoke nervously, "Tell me Lord. Was Grace swallowed by the Hellmouth? Is she dead?"

"She helped hold the line in Sunnydale Joan."

"Was she killed?"

"I promise you Joan, you will see her again, alive and in this world."

"Oh thank you Lord." She sighed with relief. "I'm so glad to hear that."

"You will see her again," He repeated, "but you may not like what you see."

"Why not? She hasn't been disfigured, has she?"

"Listen. There are many evil things that will have to be prevented Joan, but you won't be alone."

"I know. You'll always be there, to make sure things turn out right, as you always do."

"You won't only have me this time Joan." The Lord told her, "The people, who held the line in Sunnydale, will be coming to continue the fight here in Arcadia. Until they arrive, I'll need someone to stand in the gap for me, and you're the one who's available."

She sounded worried, "You just said that Grace was one of the people who held the line in Sunnydale; but they failed. The entire town collapsed into a crater. Is that the help you're sending me?"

"I'm not sending them. They'll be coming here on their own. They failed in Sunnydale, because they did not look to Me for help."


	2. Chapter 2

2

That night Joan couldn't sleep. At lunchtime, she'd called the police on her cell phone, trying to disguise her voice by making it sound deeper.

She'd told the desk sergeant, "There is going to be an attempt to bomb the Temple Beth El Synagogue tonight."

Then she'd hung up.

She hoped that had been enough. She'd forgotten to tell them that the exact time would be 11:48 PM. She'd spent the rest of the day, hoping the Lord would come to her, in one of His many forms. She wanted Him to let her know that in spite of her momentary lapse, what she'd told them was enough.

He had not shown up.

She lay in bed, under the covers, listening to the sounds of the City that she was able to hear through her window that was shut. She knew that the Temple Beth El was so far away, that if a bomb went off there, she'd never be able to hear it. She just couldn't get to sleep, knowing what might happen.

She wanted to hear something from the Lord, but He still hadn't come to her.

She thought, Maybe He wants to hear from me.

So she prayed, "Lord, I've done all I could. I've got a big test coming up in the morning, and I have to get to sleep. Please put whatever profound lesson you want me to learn on hold, and just let me sleep now."

Joan immediately felt drowsy.

She thought, Thank you Lord.

Then she was asleep, and she was dreaming.

In her dream, she saw herself standing in the living room of a strange house, among a group of around three dozen teenage girls, who she didn't know. A blonde woman in her early twenties was addressing them.

The speaker stood with a small group of people, also in their early twenties. One of them was a girl around Joan's age, who looked like she could be the speaker's sister. The Englishman with the glasses, who Joan had seen on the TV, was also with them.

The blonde woman addressed them all saying, "I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil, and that I was chosen to fight it. I wish a whole lot of the time that I hadn't been. I know a lot of you wish I hadn't been either."

Some of the teenage girls looked away from her.

"But this isn't about wishes." She went on. "This is about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes, not when its army is ready. Now!

"Tomorrow morning I'm opening the seal. I'm going down into the Hellmouth, and I'm finishing this once and for all. Right now you're asking yourself, 'What makes this different? What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one?'

"It's true none of you have the power that Faith and I do. So here's the part where you make a choice.

"What if you could have that power...now?

"'In every generation, one slayer is born'. Because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago, made up that rule. They were powerful men.

"This woman..." She pointed to a red haired companion of hers, who looked very uneasy. "...is more powerful than all of them combined."

The redhead looked very nervous, with a forced smile on her face.

"So I say we change the rule. I say my power should be our power.

"Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer, will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power will have the power... can stand up, will stand up. Slayers... every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?"

Then the dream changed, Joan was still among the people who'd been in the living room, but they were now under ground, inside a cave, standing on a ledge high above a massive cavern.

An army of hideous creatures, who looked like deformed, muscular, thuggish cavemen with fangs, was rising up along the side of the cavern, rushing toward the people on the ledge, who were all armed with swords, clubs and spears.

Joan heard a familiar voice say with total confidence, "These guys are dust."

The girl who'd said that was Grace Polk.

Then the thuggish army and the slayers fought. The blonde leader fought them off with unnaturally powerful kicks and punches, as did the other girls, including Grace.

Grace jumped, and kicked a caveman thug down. She punched another thug in the face, knocking him down.

She'd shouted, "I could get used to this!"

Then in the midst of the battle, a caveman thug grabbed Grace with two powerful arms. At that moment in the dream, Joan became Grace. The thug lifted her off the floor, as she flailed about with a sword. He put his cold mouth against her neck, and his long sharp fangs began to penetrate.

Joan/Grace thought, "He's killing me!"

She slashed the edge of her sword into the thug's skull. A large amount of his blood splashed against her face. A good part of it went into her open mouth, and she involuntarily gulped it down.

Then Joan woke up, sweating but safe in her own bed, in her own home.

I've never had a nightmare like that before, she thought. I actually prayed to get some sleep. If that was a vision from the Lord, I don't want another one, and I don't want to know its meaning.

She looked at the digital clock, on the nightstand beside her bed. The time was 11:48 PM.

From outside the window, she heard the distant sounds of police and fire sirens, coming from what might be the direction of Temple Beth El.

Has the bomb gone off? She wondered. I won't know 'til I hear it on the morning news. I won't be able to get back to sleep 'til I know, and after that nightmare, I don't want to go back to sleep.

Within five minutes, Joan was sleeping. She did not dream again that night.

In the morning she woke up rested and ready for the day ahead.

During breakfast, the Local News reported that an attempted firebombing of the Temple Beth El had failed the night before. A would-be bomber had tripped on the curb outside the Synagogue and dropped the Molotov Cocktail he'd been carrying.

The bomb had gone off, causing severe harm only to the bomber.

According to the Police, a woman had called in an anonymous tip the day before; so they'd had the Synagogue under surveillance when the incident occurred.

A Police Spokesman said, "If we hadn't been there when the bomb went off, we wouldn't have been able to call in an ambulance, and the perpetrator would now be dead, instead of in the hospital."

When Joan arrived at School and went to her locker, the Almighty again came over to her, in the Scottish School Custodian form.

She told Him, "Thank you for protecting the Synagogue Lord, and the bomber too."

"Thank you for praying Joan." He told her, "This is only the beginning of your fight against evil."

"What's next Lord?"

"'Be strong in the Lord' Joan." He quoted Scripture. "'and in His mighty power. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Resist the Devil, he will flee from you. Put on the full armor of God, so you can resist all the attacks of the evil one, and take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.'"

"'Put on the full armor of God'?" she repeated. "But that's what Joan of Arc did. I know what happened to her, and I'm thinking 'Fire hurts'.

"She took up a sword of steel." God told Joan, "I want you to take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and trust me."

Then the Scottish Custodian form of God was no longer beside her.

She thought, The sword of the Spirit, is the Word of God? God's Power is in His Word!

That night, Joan opened her Bible and began to read, trying to memorize every passage she could find, about battling demonic forces.


	3. Chapter 3

3

Today was the third Monday morning since Joan had last encountered God in one of his human forms. Every morning since then Joan had woken up and prayed, "Please Lord, don't let my fight against evil start today."

On the first morning after their last encounter, her brother Luke had switched on the laptop computer on the desk in his room, and checked out the news stories about the earthquake that had destroyed Sunnydale California. One report listed all the names of the people who'd managed to escape aboard the school bus.

In Joan's dream/vision, she'd seen about three dozen teenage girls gathered in a living room, listening to the blonde woman. Now, the names of less than a dozen girls appeared on the list. The name of Grace Polk was not among them.

That was three weeks ago. When she arrived at school this morning, Joan stood in the corridor beside her locker, hanging up her jacket, and taking out the books she'd need for that morning's classes.

She saw a guy around her own age approaching her. She'd spent time with him before. The hottest hunk of a guy she'd ever met!

She thought, I'd love to have him fk me, or do anything else he wants to my naked body, any time he wants, any way he wants.

Unfortunately, she thought, this guy isn't what he appears to be. He's God in another one of the forms He takes, when He speaks to me.

He came over and stood beside her.

She smiled and said, "Good morning."

"Good morning Joan." He grinned, "I know what you're thinking. Thank you for the compliment."

She looked away from him in embarrassment. Then she whispered, "Do you have to look like such a hunk?"

Why can't my real boyfriend Adam Rove, look like him? She thought, Would I want Adam to fk me? Sometimes I do. We haven't fkd, but we might. Would I want him to see me naked? No. Or at least in very dim lighting, please. Would I want to see him...Eeeew! Lights off! Totally! Please!

The Guy beside her asked, "Do you know what you should ask me, when you have those feelings?"

She smiled, still looking away from him. "Well since you already know what I'm thinking, do I really have to ask?"

"Joan. I said what you _should _ask."

"Oh. 'Lead us not into temptation'?"

"And what follows that?"

"'But deliver us from evil.'" Joan stopped being embarrassed. She looked straight at him. "Is my fight against evil going to begin today?"

"There's a shop downtown that specializes in the occult. It's been opened for about a year. It's named 'The Sorcerers' Chest'. It's located at 217 East 4th street.

"Right. I've seen it before. Never went inside."

"I want you to be there at 4 o'clock this afternoon

"Be there?" Joan gasped slightly. "When it specializes in the occult? In your Word, you've forbidden those of us who worship you, from having anything to do with any of that."

"I want you to purchase a book about exorcism. I want you to read it thoroughly, so you will be fully prepared."

"Exorcism?" She spoke nervously. "'Fully prepared'? You want me casting out demons? Isn't that extremely dangerous?"

"Be clear headed." He told her, "Be on your guard. Your enemy the devil is like a hungry roaring lion, who stalks about, seeking whom he may devour."

He began to move through the crowd, away from her.

"Where are you going?" She stepped up beside him and spoke in distress. "You're not having me deal with the devil alone, are you?"

"You won't be alone." He told her, "I'll be there at The Sorcerers' Chest when you arrive. Just follow my Word and no harm will come to you."

"Right. 'Deliver us from evil', Lord."

"Oh and by the way; while you're there, pick up a copy of The Vampire's Handbook. You may also find that useful."

Then the Hottest Hunk of a Guy form of God was gone from her view.

When the second period bell rang, Joan was seated in her History class. A girl who she'd never seen before stood beside the teacher's desk. She had long, dark hair, a good figure, and an overall pleasing appearance. Joan noticed that all the guys in the room were staring at the girl. Her own boyfriend Adam Rove was seated on the opposite side of the room, beside her brother Luke. They were also showing interest in the girl.

Joan thought that the girl, who had a troubled expression on her face, seemed vaguely familiar.

"Class!" the teacher, Mrs. Morgan spoke.

Everyone quieted down.

"I'd like to introduce to you, a new member of our class. Her name is Dawn Summers. She has just moved here to Arcadia. Tell us Dawn, where are you from?"

Dawn told them, "Sunnydale, California."

There was a distinct gasp among the students. Mrs. Morgan looked startled. Joan, Adam and some of the other kids took their eyes off of the new girl and stared at Luke, who was even more startled than the rest of them.

That's why she looks familiar. Joan thought, "Dawn Summers" is one of the names on the survivors' list. I saw her in that nightmare I had about Sunnydale. Will she be involved in my fight against evil?

At lunchtime in the cafeteria, Joan's brother Luke came over to the table where she was seated, having lunch with Adam. He looked very anxious.

He told them, "I've just got a text message from Grace."

Joan and Adam both sat up straight.

He told them, "It's some kind of a challenge."

Adam asked uneasily. "Challenge?"

Luke nodded. He unclipped the cellphone from his belt. Then he read the text message.

"**Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?**"

"Make a choice about what?" Adam asked him, "Ready to be strong about what?"

Luke shook his head. "That's all she says. I have no idea what it means."

Joan told them, "What it means is that Grace is still alive."

Luke said, "That's good to know."

She remembered what she'd seen in her nightmare/vision. Grace/Joan had been killed by a vampire, at least in the dream. She wondered. Is Grace really the one who sent that message?

Joan spoke. "Her message also means 'Be on your guard. Your enemy the devil is like a hungry roaring lion, who stalks about, seeking whom he may devour'."

Once she'd finished her meal, Joan left the cafeteria and entered the girls' room. Dawn Summers, the new girl from Sunnydale was there, standing in front of the mirror. Joan went over and stood beside her.

"HI there!" She greeted, "I'm Joan Girardi. Welcome to Arcadia High."

"Thank you." The other girl said politely, "I'm glad to be here."

Joan asked, "So you're from Sunnydale?"

"I'm sorry." Dawn stiffened. "I just don't want to talk about it."

Joan told her, "Oh I understand that. The thing is, I'm not just making small talk. You see, it's my brother Luke. His girlfriend was supposed to have been living there in Sunnydale. We don't know what happened to her."

"His girlfriend?"

Joan nodded, "Her name's Grace Polk. At least that's the name she uses. Her father is Rabbi Polanski of the Beth El Synagogue. Did you happen to know a girl named Grace, either Polk or Polanski?"

"I'm sorry." Dawn said, "There were a lot of girls named Grace in Sunnydale; like anyplace else."

Joan lowered her voice. "But you might have known her as a vampire slayer."

Dawn glanced around quickly, at the otherwise empty lavatory. She put a finger to her lips. Joan nodded.

The new girl lowered her voice. "What do you mean by 'vampire slayer'?"

"On the night after Sunnydale was destroyed, I had a dream that might have been a vision."

"A vision?"

"Maybe." Joan nodded. "In the dream I saw a large number of high school girls who were all standing in a living room. You were one of them. A woman who looked like she could be your older sister was talking to all of you.

"She said the words, '…Slayers every one. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?'"

Dawn gasped softly.

Joan asked her, "Was it a vision?"

"That's all it could be. I was there and that's part of what my sister Buffy said."

"There was more to the vision. It became a nightmare." Joan went on. "All of you girls were fighting any army of cavemen who had fangs. That's when I saw my brother's girlfriend in your group. I saw her get killed by one of those vampire cavemen.

"Now I want to know if she really was killed, or if that was just part of the dream."

"I wasn't in that group." Dawn told her, "I was fighting in a different location when that was going on, so I really don't know what happened to her."

Joan asked, "Do you know someone who can tell me something?"

"My older sister Buffy is sure to know. I going to be meeting her after school, at the place she works. It's a magic shop, called the Sorcerers Chest. Maybe you'd like to come along and talk to her there."

"The Sorcerers Chest? Right. I know where it is. Your sister works there?"

"So do I, and a friend of her's from Sunnydale, who's named Willow. The place is owned by a woman named Amy Madison. She attended Sunnydale High with my sister and Willow. Amy moved here about a year ago, and opened the shop. When we arrived here in Arcadia, she was the only one we knew here, and she's been glad to help us out."

"I see." Joan asked, "So your sister might know something about what happened to Grace?"

"Probably. If you want to come along, a friend of mine named Xander's gonna be picking me up after school to take me to work. He can drive both of us over."

Joan remembered the Lord saying, "You will see Grace again in this world, but you may not like what you see."

She said, "Thank you Dawn."

When classes at Arcadia High were dismissed for the day, Joan met up with Dawn in the School's parking lot. Both girls stood in the light breeze, holding their books while wearing zipped open light jackets, and waiting for Dawn's friend Xander to show up.

Dawn told her, "By the way Joan, Xander's a really nice guy, so don't let his appearance scare you."

Joan asked uneasily, "Scare me?"

She nodded. "His face was wounded during the battle; so it makes him look really bad, or what's the word? 'Sinister'."

"He has a sinister appearance?"

"That's just how he looks, but he's a really good person. You can trust him."

A car drove slowly through the parking lot, and stopped in front to the girls. The driver was in his early 20's, also wearing a light jacket, along with a large patch over his left eye. Joan thought he looked more rugged than sinister, but when the other girl opened the front door on the passenger side, Joan held back.

Dawn spoke with annoyance. "Will you get in the back seat already? I told you, you can trust him!"

Joan nodded. "Right."

She opened the rear door and slid into the passenger seat. "Sorry."

"That's okay." He said.

Xander drove out of the parking lot, and headed downtown.


	4. Chapter 4

4

Xander's car arrived at the Sorcerers' Chest, about 15 minutes later. He let Joan and Dawn out at the curb. Then he drove off to find a parking space.

Joan stood beside Dawn, feeling uncomfortable as she looked at the magic shop's window display, which contained books on witchcraft, pictures of goat headed devils, ouija boards, tarot cards, and other items dealing with the occult, including a very large, inverted crucifix.

What am I doing here? She wondered. I'm about to actually step inside a shop that sells these things?

She looked around at the crowd of pedestrians moving past her along the sidewalk, hoping that God in one of His familiar forms would be among them. She didn't recognize anyone. Some passersby glanced at her and Dawn, but they continued on their way.

"Lord." Joan prayed silently, "You said you'd be here. I don't see you. I suppose that means you're already inside the shop."

She and Dawn were about to go inside, when a teenage girl's voice called out from the passing crowd. "Joan?"

They both turned in the voice's direction. Joan hoped that the girl who'd called was God in a female human form.

A full figured dark haired girl in a plain blue dress came out of the crowd, carrying a few books. She was also a student at Arcadia High. She attended several classes with Joan, and was obviously not God.

"Joan Girardi?" The girl laughed as she came up to her beside the display window. "What are you, of all people, doing at the Sorcerers' Chest?"

Joan looked around uncomfortably. "Hi Katie. This is Dawn Summers."

"Oh hi. You're the new girl. Welcome to Arcadia. So what are you two up to?" Katie winked. "Taking a little walk on the wild side?"

Joan said, "This isn't the way that it looks."

"Yeah—right."

Joan spoke in a peeved tone. "Katie! Dawn's older sister works here."

"Hey that's so cool! Lots of kids are interested in the occult, including me and a lot of our classmates."

Joan said, "Well that's not why we're here."

The girl shook her head and sighed. "You know something Dawn. Girardi here's known for being a real goody two shoes. I hope you're not."

The new girl asked, "Goody two shoes?"

"I hear that she's never even stayed out past her curfew, let along get drunk or get laid."

Dawn said, "I don't see how that's any business of mine."

Katie said. "Whether it is or not, I believe it. I wouldn't be surprised if she really _is _still a virgin."

Joan said, "I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of Katie. A lot of girls are. A lot more than you think; and so are a lot of guys."

"Of course they are, but you're the only one I've ever heard admit it."

Joan spoke to Dawn. "I've seen some pictures posted on the Arcadia High Party website. They show Katie here and some other girls and guys, who're all very drunk. The girls boobs are naked and they're lifting their skirts and letting the guys fk them. I don't see how any of that is anything to brag about."

Now her classmate spoke in a condescending tone. "That's just 'cause you don't know what you're passing up Girardi. Just try it once. I'm sure you'll change your mind."

"Forget it!"

Katie asked, "How about you Dawn? Would you be interested in attending?"

The new girl told her, "I might be. If the guys are really cute."

"Glad to hear that." Katie leered at Joan.

Dawn said, "But don't get the wrong idea. I'm not a slut."

Katie told Joan, "Maybe you ought to watch out for the new girl here. You know Dawn, Joan's boyfriend Adam Rove's a really cute guy, and he's not getting any from her."

Katie stepped away from Joan and Dawn, and went through the doorway into the establishment. A bell above the door jingled.

Joan said, "Please don't get the wrong idea. Most of the kids at Arcadia High aren't nasty like her. On the other hand, I'm not like most kids you'd meet any place, either."

Dawn told her, "Neither am I."

Joan asked, "You're interested in attended parties like that?"

"Sounds like every party I attended back in Sunnydale. You see Joan, when you're living on a hellmouth, you can get away with an awful lot. But forget what she said. I'm not gonna be going after your boyfriend, or anybody else's. While I do enjoy a good fk, I'm not a slut; or at least I wasn't by Sunnydale standards. I was just going along to get along."

"So are a lot of the kids who attend those parties here."

Now both girls went through the doorway, entered The Sorcerers' Chest and looked around. Joan didn't see Katie. She figured the girl was checking things out along one of the aisles.

The two had entered a softly lit shop consisting of shelves displaying all kinds of Black Magic paraphernalia, along with ghoulish looking items, such as replicas of skulls, dismembered eyeballs, and other parts of human and non-human anatomies. There were occultic items, such as what was displayed in the window, along with things that she was unable to identify. There were many books about sorcery, the occult and "Books of Forbidden Knowledge" for anybody to purchase.

A section "For Adults Only" was located in a large alcove at the rear of the shop. From where she stood in the main area, Joan could see posters on the walls of the alcove containing images that could be described as pornographic.

She thought, I just want to hear what Dawn's sister has to say about Grace, and then get out of here fast.

Dawn said, "I think my sister's in the back. I'll go get her and be right back."

Dawn stepped away from Joan, and disappeared along an aisle.

Joan began moving around the establishment, looking at the people browsing along the aisles, while wondering which one of them was God in human form. Some customers saw her looking at them and turned their faces away. She quickly looked away from them.

Which one are you Lord? She wondered.

She saw Katie standing in one aisle, looking over some ouija boards and other occult paraphernalia on a shelf.

Joan moved slowly along a different aisle. This one contained many books about exorcism. The Lord hadn't told her the title of the one He wanted her to buy.

She prayed softly, "Which one is it Lord?"

Dawn's voice called out, "Hey Joan!"

She turned quickly in the girl's direction, accidentally knocking one book off a shelf with her elbow. Joan reached down and picked up the book. The title was "'Come Out of This Man, You Evil Spirit'."

She wondered, Is this all I'll need to be fully prepared when it comes to casting out demons?

Dawn came up to her, accompanied the blonde woman in her early 20s, who Joan had seen in her dream vision. Xander was also beside her, along with the red haired woman who Joan had also seen in the vision.

"Joan Girardi." Dawn said, "This is my sister Buffy Summers. You've met Xander, and this is Willow."

"Good afternoon everyone."

Buffy spoke, "Good afternoon Joan." She lowered her voice. "Dawn here says you had a dream about what happened to us in Sunnydale."

Joan nodded, and also spoke quietly. "It was more than a dream. It was a vision. You fought the demons, and the demons won."

The two sisters looked startled, so did Xander and Willow.

Buffy said, "No. They didn't win. We defeated them all."

Willow said proudly, "I was the one who cast the spell, that empowered all the potentials, so that they all became Slayers just before the battle. There was not one demon vampire who wasn't obliterated.

"But so was Sunnydale," Joan told her, "and so were most of the girls who fought beside you, and the demons are still powerful. That's what I'd call a defeat."

The woman was about to say something.

Joan went on, "But I haven't come here to argue. God Himself has sent me here with a message for all of you."

The others looked startled.

Buffy asked, "A message? From God Himself?"

Willow asked, "Which god is that?"

"'Which God'?" Joan told her, "The Lord God Himself; the God of the Bible; the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; God who gave the Ten Commandments to Moses; the God of the Prophets of Israel; the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ; God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. That's 'which God' has sent me to you."

"Oh." Xander said, "We've heard of Him."

Joan said, "And now you're about to hear _from_ Him. This is what the Lord God says:

"'The reason you were defeated in Sunnydale, is that you put your faith in witchcraft, and occult objects, which are all tools of Satan. By using Satan's tools and methods, you put yourselves in league with Satan; and how can Satan cast out Satan?'"

"No!" Willow shook her head. "I'm a good witch, not an evil witch. I'm not in league with Satan now, and we weren't in league with him back in Sunnydale."

"Yes you were. He deceived you into using your power, to bring about the destruction of Sunnydale.

"God also says this. 'If you want to defeat demonic forces, you must first turn away from these demonic deceptions. Then be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

"'For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand…'"

"Wait a minute!" Willow spread her arms wide and looked around at the surrounding items inside the magic shop. "You mean that God wants us to give up all of this, and rely on Him alone?"

Joan nodded. "If you don't want to be defeated again, like you were in Sunnydale, you will."

Willow snapped, "Now wait a minute kid!"

Buffy raised her hand. "Hold it Will!" She looked at Joan. "That is good advice. We'll take it into consideration when we make our plans."

Now Dawn spoke. "What about your friend?"

"Right." Joan said, "There's one thing I want to know. One of the girls who fought beside you, might have been my friend Grace Polk, who was also my brother's girlfriend."

Buffy said, "Grace Polk? Yes. She fought beside us, and was killed by a vampire."

Joan nodded. "That's what I saw in the vision. The thing is that this afternoon, my brother Luke got a text message from her. I'd like to know what's going on."

Dawn said, "What's going on is that she's now a vampire."

"Be on your guard Joan." Buffy warned, "and make sure your brother's on his guard too. Tell him to stay away from her. If she asks to meet with him, or anybody else, tell them all to stay away."

Joan said, "She sent a message. What it said was, 'Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?' That's the same thing you said to her and all the girls, on the night before the battle."

"Yes, it was." Buffy asked, "Did she say anything else in that text message? Did she say where she is?"

"No. That was all she said."

"Well," the Vampire Slayer told Joan, "if you or your brother, or anyone else receives another message from her, I want you to let me or Dawn know. Then if she asks anyone to meet with her any place, don't go. I'll be the one who meets her."

"You'll be the one?" Joan was horrified. "You want me to let you know where my friend Grace Polk is? You want me to tell you where my brother's girlfriend is, so you can go there and 'slay' her?"

"Unfortunately." Buffy told her, "She is a vampire and that is what a vampire slayer does."

Joan shouted, "Well that's not what I'm gonna be doing! Neither will my brother, or my boyfriend, or anybody else who's a friend of Grace Polk!"

She put the book on exorcism back on the shelf, turned around and rushed out the door, shouting, "None of us are gonna help you do anything!"


	5. Chapter 5

5

Joan hurried away from the Sorcerers' Chest, heading toward the corner where she'd get the bus home. She hoped to avoid Katie. She didn't want to have to try to explain to her, or anyone else, why she was so upset. She really didn't know how to talk to anybody about this.

She wondered. Dawn's big sister Buffy is a vampire slayer, who wants to slay Grace? Who could I possibly talk to about this? Luke? Adam? Any of our friends? My parents? Who do I know who'd possibly believe me? God knows. He sent me here to learn this. Now what I want to know is what He wants me to do about it.

Joan reached the corner, just as the bus came along. She boarded the public conveyance, paid the fare and looked for an empty seat. She saw one about a halfway down the aisle, where a woman who she had met before, sat in a window seat on the left. Joan came over and sat beside the woman, who appeared to be in her mid thirties, and was casually dressed in slacks and a light jacket.

As the bus began to move, the woman said, "Good afternoon Joan."

The girl said, "Good afternoon, what do I call you? 'Ms. God'?"

"That's not what you're really concerned about."

"Right. What concerns me, is what am I gonna do about Grace Polk being a vampire, and about Dawn's vampire-slayer sister wanting my help, so she can slay her? What do I tell my brother Luke? And I don't have any idea what to do about any of it."

"You've brought it to me. Now pay attention."

"Right."

"Ask Luke for Grace's cell phone number. Then send her a text message saying, 'The Slayer is here in Arcadia. Don't tell Luke or anyone else where you are.'"

"'The Slayer is here in Arcadia. Don't tell Luke or anyone else where you are'? That's a good idea. I hope it's enough. Anything else?"

"Send a similar text message to her father Rabbi Polanski, anonymously. This time you should tell him, 'Don't tell anyone where Grace is."

She asked, "The Rabbi knows?"

God in the woman's form nodded. "He's always known where she was and why. Don't speak to him personally. Buffy and her companions will be keeping an eye on you. If they see you speaking with the Rabbi, they'll start keeping an eye on him."

Back inside the Sorcerers' Chest, Katie walked up to the counter carrying a box containing a ouija board along with a pack of tarot cards, and a few other occult items. Willow was now behind the counter. Dawn came over and stood beside her new classmate.

Willow asked, "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"I'm not sure." Katie told her, "Me and some of my friends are having a get together on Saturday night. How'd you like to come along Dawn? We'll make it a party to welcome you."

"Why thank you Katie." Dawn told her, "I'd love to, especially if it's the kind of party I've been hearing about."

"I don't know Dawn." Willow warned, "They're using a ouija board and tarot cards." She asked Katie, "Are you gonna be conducting a séance?"

"If that's what you call contacting 'someone on the other side', that's what we'll be trying."

"Are you and your friends in a witches' coven?"

"No." Katie laughed, "We'll just be playing some spooky games. It's supposed to be harmless."

"Well it isn't." Willow shook her head. "Sometimes it can get really dangerous, unless there's somebody there who knows how to handle it."

Dawn said, "I know how to handle it."

"That's right." Willow said, "She does."

Katie looked at the new girl. "You do?"

"That's right." Dawn smiled, "When you're living on a hellmouth, everybody there knows something about handling spooky things, even the dangerous ones."

Willow asked, "Is there anyone in particular, on the other side, who you'd like to contact?"

"Well we're not sure if she really is on the other side. It's a classmate of ours who nobody's seen in months, and no one has any idea what's happened to her. Her name is Grace Polk."


	6. Chapter 6

6

When Joan arrived home, she went straight to her room, lay down on the bed and sighed.

What am I doing? She wondered. I'm trying to protect a vampire? I'm trying to keep Grace safe from Buffy, while keeping all of us safe from Grace? God wants me to send her a text message warning. If I do, she might be okay, and so might all of us here in Arcadia, but just temporarily. This leads to another question. Are the people wherever she is safe from her?

She prayed Where is Grace anyway Lord?

No. I shouldn't be asking that. I don't want to know. I don't want anyone to know; but if nobody knows, then the people wherever she is, might be in danger from her.

Why did you have to dump this on me Lord?

Now Joan heard Luke moving around in his room, on the opposite side of the wall between them.

Do I tell him that Grace is a vampire? No. I'll just ask him for her cell phone number.

She got up off her bed, left her room, stepped out into the hallway and knocked on Luke's door. He opened the door, and stood there in a plaid shirt, blue jeans, and glasses.

She said, "Hi Luke. Do you happen to have Grace's cell phone number? I'd like to send her a text message."

"You want to send her a message?"

"Right. I'd like her to know that she still has friends back here in Arcadia."

"Good idea Joan. You really are a friend."

She sighed. "I hope so,"

He unclipped the cell phone from his belt, found Grace's number and showed it to Joan.

"Thank you Luke."

Joan loaded Grace's number into her own cell phone and returned to her room. Then she entered the text: "**The Slayer is here in Arcadia. Don't tell Luke or anyone else where you are**".

She sent the message, and then clicked off her device. She thought, I hope I've done the right thing. I've done what God told me, so things should work out all right. But what if? No. I'll let the Lord handle Grace. The question is, how do I handle Buffy, Dawn, the other people who were at the Sorcerers' Chest, and I have no idea who else.

Someone else who I might have to deal with is Katie. Will she become involved with Dawn, Buffy and the others from Sunnydale California? If she does, how involved will she become, and will some of my other classmates become involved with them too?

Oh Lord. Just being a High School girl is hard enough. I don't want to have anything to do with these vampire things too! Isn't there anyone else in all of Arcadia, who's more qualified than me?

The following morning, Joan was seated at her desk before the beginning of her 2nd period History class. Dawn entered the classroom and came over her.

"Look." Joan told her, "I don't want to have trouble with you, or your sister, or any of your friends. I'd like to be friends with you, but not if you're gonna try to get me to betray any other friends of mine."

Dawn said, "I understand that Joan, but I think you should look at this."

The girl from Sunnydale reached in her handbag and took out a 34-page booklet, about 8 inches tall and 5&½ inches wide. She handed it to Joan. The glossy covered publication was titled "The Vampires Handbook", with the subtitle "Being a Vampire Doesn't Have to Suck". Under the subtitle was a cartoon smiley face with fangs. Under the smiley face was the blurb "What every new vampire should know."

This, Joan thought, is what the Lord told me to look for at the Sorcerers' Chest. He said I might find it useful.

She asked, "A Vampire's Handbook?"

Dawn told her, "It's what you should know too Joan. You should read all of it. Then you'll understand what's what. Then if you still don't want to help, I understand; but whatever you do, for your own good, don't get in Buffy's way."

Joan told her, "No problem."

Dawn stepped away from Joan and sat down at her own desk.

Me? Get in Buffy's way? Joan thought. That's no problem, as long as they don't find out I sent that e-mail warning to Grace. Nobody knows I sent it, and I'm not telling anyone that I did. Except that Luke knows I sent her a message. I hope he doesn't tell anyone. If he does, and Buffy and her gang find out, what will they do?

When 2nd Period History ended, Joan moved with the other students, carrying their books along the school's corridors, heading toward their next period classes. Katie came up beside Joan, also carrying her own books.

She spoke with a cheerful voice. "How you doin' Girardi?"

Joan groaned inwardly. She thought, No problem with her please, Lord.

"I'm doing okay." Joan said, "No better or worse than anyone else around here."

"You got any plans for Saturday night?"

Joan thought, Looks like she might be a problem.

"Saturday? No real plans."

"Well Joanie. Some of us are having a party to welcome Dawn Summers to Arcadia, and since you're already friendly with the girl, I'm thinking that you might want to join us."

"Join you?" Joan made a joke, choking laugh. "You're kidding. You don't actually expect me to agree to walk around with my boobs naked and get fkd at one of your orgies, do you?"

"That's not what'll be going on. Well, maybe a little bit, but that's not the main reason we're getting together. We'll be conducting a séance."

"Séance?"

"Make the girl from the hellmouth feel right at home."

"I don't know Katie." Joan told her, "She's suffered an awful lot of loss because of occult activities, and she doesn't want to talk about it. Besides, those activities can be very dangerous for people involved."

"She's already agreed to it."

"Oh. She has?"

"Yeah. She said she's taken part in occult activities before. She knows how to keep things from getting out of hand. She's also the one who asked me to invite you."

"She did? I don't want to be rude Katie, but like I said, I'm not taking part in any orgy, no matter who's invited me; especially one where people are gonna be getting involved in occult activities."

"Tell me something Girardi." Kate asked, "You're not really still a virgin, are you?"

"No." Joan admitted, "I have fkd, but I don't any more. God has come into my life, and I've repented."

"You 'repented'? Does that mean you don't plan to get fkd again, until your wedding night?"

"I have no idea if I will or won't," Joan admitted "so I not gonna make any vows, when I don't know if I'll be able to keep them."

At lunchtime, Joan joined her boyfriend Adam at a table in the cafeteria.

He told her, "I was speaking to Katie before. She told me that she invited you and me to a party this Saturday night."

"I already told her no." Joan spoke with annoyance. "I don't want either of us getting involved in any occult activities, or starring in one of her porno videos."

"She said it's to welcome that new girl, Dawn Summers, and that nobody's gonna be forced to do anything they don't want."

"That's good. One thing I don't want, is to attend that party."

"Okay." He said, "I've got another idea for what we can do on Saturday night," he lowered his voice "if you haven't taken any vow of chastity…"

"What? 'Vow'? Did Katie tell you something…"

They were interrupted. Luke had come up to the table carrying his lunch on a tray. He put it down and sat across from them.

He told them, "I've got another text message from Grace."

Joan asked, "What'd she say?"

He unclipped the cellphone from his belt and switched it on. Then he read the text.

"**I'll be seeing you on Saturday. Everything is five by five. Grace.**"

Adam repeated, "'Five by five'?"

Luke nodded. "25 square something. I think that means that she's okay."

Adam said, "That's good to know."

Joan told them, "That depends what she means by 'five by five'."

Joan finished her lunch and dumped the remains into the trash bin. Then she went into the Girls Room. The room was almost deserted, except for one girl who appeared to be around Joan's age. She stood in front of a mirror fixing her make-up. The two had spoken before.

Joan sighed in relief. "I can't tell you how glad I am to see you're finally here. Everything's coming at me from all directions all at once. I don't know how to handle any of this."

"I don't expect you to handle it all. Only what I tell you."

"Thank you Lord."

"I want you to attend Katie's party on Saturday night."

"What? Attend her party? You want me walking around with my boobs naked, and lifting my skirt for any guys who want to fuck me? I told both her and Adam that I wouldn't. On the other hand, I am tempted to do those things with him, when he and I are alone."

"I know, and the only one you want to fuck is him, but you're practicing chastity, which I approve."

"Then why are you leading me into temptation?"

"To deliver Sunnydale from evil. When Katie and her guests engage in that séance, they will unknowingly be releasing demonic spirits, who will open a hellmouth here in Arcadia. Then what happened in Sunnydale will be repeated. I want you there to prevent those things from happening."


End file.
